They (whoever "they" are) say that journaling helps alleviate depression. Hello world, here I am, trying to alleviate my depression. When the depression first took over my life the weekend of my birthday, back on May 27th, I stopped posting on Facebook. I was still keeping up with other peoples' posts. Sadly (and with much guilt), I have lost interest in that too.
I have been down on this road before and I know what to do. A dear friend of mine in South Philly suffers from this as well and her take on it is to push the depression in the background and just keep on going. Keep doing what you normally do; work, the dishes, whatever. Just keep moving.
What caused the depression was finding blood clots in my left leg and the fear of dying before I ever get to do what I really want to do. They (whoever "they" are) say you need to live life to the fullest every day and not just live for retirement. Great. How does one fit that in with a job in a fast-paced environment and the tremendous responsibility of caring for a 93 year old woman and her ailing cat? I love them both dearly and do not mind helping. But I am starting to find that it is wearing me down.
I should make this clear: the blood clots I have are superficial phlebitis and are not fatal. I wear a compression sock on my left leg every day, take low dose aspirin, and move around more than I have in years. I walk every single day and sometimes run a bit too. I am weight training. I am doing everything I can to resolve this issue. Unfortunately, I went from 2 blood clots to 6, but it could be that the one large blood clot broke into pieces. I don't know. I have a follow up ultrasound in early August.
So I'm not dying and my life is actually great. I need to shake this "mental flu" and get back to my happy place.
I am sharing this in a public place in case anyone with depression happens to find this post. Just keep going. Put that depression in the background and keep moving forward. You'll get there.
Same as I.
Argh. Depression sux, times infinity!
My first recommendation is to talk with your doctor. When things spun out of control, to the point where I felt like even though my body was walking around with vital signs, I was more or less dead, I went to the doctor. They asked screening questions, which helped to determine that it was depression, and not something else like bipolar disorder, because those two things need different medication regimens. Then I got on an anti-depressant that helps my body manage serotonin levels. Left to its own devices, my body doesn't make enough of it, and that's the underlying cause. It was when I finally got treatment that I realized, "Hey, wait, you mean…